"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane."
- John Green, Looking For Alaska
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them
I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?
I knew you would understand. You always do.
We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.
It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.
No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.
Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.
Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.
Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.
Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
Best friends. Friends forever.
Wow... Just... WOW!
I knew you would understand. You always do.
We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.
It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.
No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.
Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.
Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.
Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.
Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
Best friends. Friends forever.
Wow... Just... WOW!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Words can't express
just how awful I feel inside.
1. I got kicked out of school because I was filled with arrogance and refused to even revise.
2. I realize I'm not a very good salesman.
3. The girl I like for the longest time doesn't respond much to me anymore.
4. I hit the clubs and I can't even find a girl to dance with.
5. My spiritual life has reached a plateau.
6. I'm broke.
7. Nobody I know has a full combination of points 1 through 6.
8. Girls don't even look at me.
Oh Lord, I need your help. One way, or another. I am writhing in self pity and can't seem to be bothered to do anything about my pathetic life. Wallowing in this pile of shit can't be the future. I was once able to claim Jer 29:11
P.S. Does she even know that I like her, and is this feeling even slightly mutual? Even the slightest bit. Hey T, I like you.
1. I got kicked out of school because I was filled with arrogance and refused to even revise.
2. I realize I'm not a very good salesman.
3. The girl I like for the longest time doesn't respond much to me anymore.
4. I hit the clubs and I can't even find a girl to dance with.
5. My spiritual life has reached a plateau.
6. I'm broke.
7. Nobody I know has a full combination of points 1 through 6.
8. Girls don't even look at me.
Oh Lord, I need your help. One way, or another. I am writhing in self pity and can't seem to be bothered to do anything about my pathetic life. Wallowing in this pile of shit can't be the future. I was once able to claim Jer 29:11
P.S. Does she even know that I like her, and is this feeling even slightly mutual? Even the slightest bit. Hey T, I like you.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
/b/efore I get sucked in...
While I'm typing this shit, I've just seen how cruel the Internet can be. Recently I chanced upon /b/. If you don't know what /b/ is. Just GTFO and don't read this post(my imaginary reader). A girl by the name of bed***** had become a camwhore for a month. She would tease and chat with a bunch of guys from 4chan.org. And after a few hours, she's flash and show off her "goods". She was seeking control, we were lustful. It was a good match, or so it seems.
I've been in her "shows" a few times, probably every time I see her link on /b/. Before you guys call me a horny bastard. Let it be known that she's gorgeous. Probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen online. Girl didn't need to cake her face to look like an angel. She looked like Denise Richard, Van Hudgens and Kristen Kreuk fused into one. A goddess. She had a seriously good body too. The kind that guys would fuck without thinking twice(I know, I'm a guy).
So one day a /b/tard found her myspace, through meticulously scanning through all of her friend's names. Once her myspace was found, he proceeded to spam her friends/boyfriend/mother with all sorts of pictures/screenshots of her showing less than glorifying parts of her body. So today, she found out about those pictures. It was the first time I saw someone cry over the Internet. The horror on her face, the tears that rolled, it was unbelieveable at first. I did not buy it. Why would a girl be upset and still be up on webcam? But the following few minutes unveiled unto me a revelation. FUCK! Anonymity turns people into demons. Oh, and she was bawling, so yeah I knew she was really upset. Ah who wouldn't.
Their reason(s):
1. She asked for it, DUH!- I wouldn't say that posting your tits live on the Internet is the wisest thing one can do, but it isn't a valid reason for trying to ruin her life, or next few weeks.
2. She was boastful, so we punished her.- A girl with her looks has every reason to have the confidence that she possessed(which might have included proudly exclaiming: I can get 1000 people in here to try to get me to strip). Your method of humbling her is inhumane.
3. We are /b/. We have every right to fuck up people's lives.- With morals like that, who needs the law?
While I do admit that some of my sympathy towards her comes from the fact that she's really beautiful, I insist that if this shit happened to a "lesser mortal", I'd have still felt pretty bad for her.
I can only wish her the best and hope that she comes out of this crap stronger. Then again, she's one of those pretty people. Beautiful people always emerge from their little hellholes stronger and better. I just hope that this shit won't follow her for the rest of her life.
And to /b/, God bless your souls... Sigh... Once again humanity fails.
I've been in her "shows" a few times, probably every time I see her link on /b/. Before you guys call me a horny bastard. Let it be known that she's gorgeous. Probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen online. Girl didn't need to cake her face to look like an angel. She looked like Denise Richard, Van Hudgens and Kristen Kreuk fused into one. A goddess. She had a seriously good body too. The kind that guys would fuck without thinking twice(I know, I'm a guy).
So one day a /b/tard found her myspace, through meticulously scanning through all of her friend's names. Once her myspace was found, he proceeded to spam her friends/boyfriend/mother with all sorts of pictures/screenshots of her showing less than glorifying parts of her body. So today, she found out about those pictures. It was the first time I saw someone cry over the Internet. The horror on her face, the tears that rolled, it was unbelieveable at first. I did not buy it. Why would a girl be upset and still be up on webcam? But the following few minutes unveiled unto me a revelation. FUCK! Anonymity turns people into demons. Oh, and she was bawling, so yeah I knew she was really upset. Ah who wouldn't.
Their reason(s):
1. She asked for it, DUH!- I wouldn't say that posting your tits live on the Internet is the wisest thing one can do, but it isn't a valid reason for trying to ruin her life, or next few weeks.
2. She was boastful, so we punished her.- A girl with her looks has every reason to have the confidence that she possessed(which might have included proudly exclaiming: I can get 1000 people in here to try to get me to strip). Your method of humbling her is inhumane.
3. We are /b/. We have every right to fuck up people's lives.- With morals like that, who needs the law?
While I do admit that some of my sympathy towards her comes from the fact that she's really beautiful, I insist that if this shit happened to a "lesser mortal", I'd have still felt pretty bad for her.
I can only wish her the best and hope that she comes out of this crap stronger. Then again, she's one of those pretty people. Beautiful people always emerge from their little hellholes stronger and better. I just hope that this shit won't follow her for the rest of her life.
And to /b/, God bless your souls... Sigh... Once again humanity fails.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
No future, for me...
It's 2009, I've been kicked out of school, I've hit a new spiritual low, things aren't looking good at all. My relationships aren't going anywhere. It's sad...
I need discipline, and a renewed relationship with God. And perhaps, a girl.
Well, at least it can't get any worse now, can it?!
I need discipline, and a renewed relationship with God. And perhaps, a girl.
Well, at least it can't get any worse now, can it?!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
When 2 become 1
John Mayer's guitar playing is almost identical to Stevie Ray Vaughan! While I feel that plagiarism is unethical and unprofessional, especially when John Mayer is using it to make that much money(and getting all those chicks). I guess it's nice to hear the SRV sound once again.
R.I.P. Stevie
R.I.P. Stevie
Monday, September 8, 2008
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