Words can't express

just how awful I feel inside.

1. I got kicked out of school because I was filled with arrogance and refused to even revise.
2. I realize I'm not a very good salesman.
3. The girl I like for the longest time doesn't respond much to me anymore.
4. I hit the clubs and I can't even find a girl to dance with.
5. My spiritual life has reached a plateau.
6. I'm broke.
7. Nobody I know has a full combination of points 1 through 6.
8. Girls don't even look at me.

Oh Lord, I need your help. One way, or another. I am writhing in self pity and can't seem to be bothered to do anything about my pathetic life. Wallowing in this pile of shit can't be the future. I was once able to claim Jer 29:11

P.S. Does she even know that I like her, and is this feeling even slightly mutual? Even the slightest bit. Hey T, I like you.

/b/efore I get sucked in...

While I'm typing this shit, I've just seen how cruel the Internet can be. Recently I chanced upon /b/. If you don't know what /b/ is. Just GTFO and don't read this post(my imaginary reader). A girl by the name of bed***** had become a camwhore for a month. She would tease and chat with a bunch of guys from 4chan.org. And after a few hours, she's flash and show off her "goods". She was seeking control, we were lustful. It was a good match, or so it seems.

I've been in her "shows" a few times, probably every time I see her link on /b/. Before you guys call me a horny bastard. Let it be known that she's gorgeous. Probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen online. Girl didn't need to cake her face to look like an angel. She looked like Denise Richard, Van Hudgens and Kristen Kreuk fused into one. A goddess. She had a seriously good body too. The kind that guys would fuck without thinking twice(I know, I'm a guy).

So one day a /b/tard found her myspace, through meticulously scanning through all of her friend's names. Once her myspace was found, he proceeded to spam her friends/boyfriend/mother with all sorts of pictures/screenshots of her showing less than glorifying parts of her body. So today, she found out about those pictures. It was the first time I saw someone cry over the Internet. The horror on her face, the tears that rolled, it was unbelieveable at first. I did not buy it. Why would a girl be upset and still be up on webcam? But the following few minutes unveiled unto me a revelation. FUCK! Anonymity turns people into demons. Oh, and she was bawling, so yeah I knew she was really upset. Ah who wouldn't.

Their reason(s):
1. She asked for it, DUH!- I wouldn't say that posting your tits live on the Internet is the wisest thing one can do, but it isn't a valid reason for trying to ruin her life, or next few weeks.
2. She was boastful, so we punished her.- A girl with her looks has every reason to have the confidence that she possessed(which might have included proudly exclaiming: I can get 1000 people in here to try to get me to strip). Your method of humbling her is inhumane.
3. We are /b/. We have every right to fuck up people's lives.- With morals like that, who needs the law?

While I do admit that some of my sympathy towards her comes from the fact that she's really beautiful, I insist that if this shit happened to a "lesser mortal", I'd have still felt pretty bad for her.

I can only wish her the best and hope that she comes out of this crap stronger. Then again, she's one of those pretty people. Beautiful people always emerge from their little hellholes stronger and better. I just hope that this shit won't follow her for the rest of her life.

And to /b/, God bless your souls... Sigh... Once again humanity fails.

No future, for me...

It's 2009, I've been kicked out of school, I've hit a new spiritual low, things aren't looking good at all. My relationships aren't going anywhere. It's sad...

I need discipline, and a renewed relationship with God. And perhaps, a girl.

Well, at least it can't get any worse now, can it?!

When 2 become 1

John Mayer's guitar playing is almost identical to Stevie Ray Vaughan! While I feel that plagiarism is unethical and unprofessional, especially when John Mayer is using it to make that much money(and getting all those chicks). I guess it's nice to hear the SRV sound once again.

R.I.P. Stevie

My love poem for you <3

A ring is round,
it goes on forever.
So are you,
lose some weight bitch!

The metal in Metallica

I can't say I'm a huge Metallica, but I will not deny the fact that they are genius(Ride the Lightning, Cliff 'Em All, Master of Puppets). We also know that they have been trying to keep up with the times by dropping their key and as a result, failed terribly(that rhymed). Saint Anger will be my proof, and the Saints in heaven know that it sucks too.

So here comes the new album, Lars said it will be awesome, I was hoping for that too. Then the songs started streaming online. The instruments are fine and up to standard(of being a fucking brilliant album of pure metal). Why only fine? Simply because I have really high expectations of them(They are Metallica!). Kirk and gang put up one heck of a performance, but James' vocals disappointed. He brought up his overall key by one full key. So you get a nicer sharper growl, which can be found in their first few albums, but he sounds jaded, slower, and boring at times. Heh, he's old I guess. It reminds me of the good old days, but not quite.

The Unforgiven III. Are you kidding me? Three songs about forgiveness. Coupled with The Day That Never Comes(sounds a lot like One), which makes me question about the metal in Metallica. Don't get me wrong, they are great songs, but as one of the "Big Four" of thrash metal, aren't you supposed to make music that's thrash? I have not heard the full album yet, but two ballads, come on you guys aren't Softrocklica!

I hope I have passed judgement too early and the album will be fantabby.

Meals and Pocket Calculators

Well, it's true, girls do take out their pocket calculators after meals to calculate precisely how much each of them are supposed to pay, right down to the cents. It's fascinating how trivial amounts of money get to them.